The Schweitzers

Two tea parties: A study in gender contrasts

Our friend Camille was over to play today. Ruby was very excited to introduce Camille to her china tea set. You'll notice their party features a table, chairs, a dress-up tutu, napkins in napkin rings, silver teapot, table settings, a scrap of cloth for a table runner, and pieces of a real cookie. The guests are the girls and Bun, the pink bunny.

I am pretty sure Alex got kicked out of the girl party, but not to be deterred, he set up his own.

The guests included Elmo, a naked boy doll (not anatomically correct), Curious George (the flashlight), LIghtning McQueen, and Alex, of course. The guests are being fed out of a leftover cool-whip container and a stuffed horse is eating from a trough nearby. That's because "it's actually an outside party, mommy."

I am happy to report that both parties were conducted with only the most polite of manners and all of the guests seemed thoroughly satisfied with the festivities.

Who'll stop the rain?

A couple of weeks ago we spent a few days at Hilton Head. The kids and I had a blast! Poor working man Jon, not so much. I had the delightful opportunity of witnessing my children's very odd beach behavior. They do things like pour water on their wet selves.

They pour water back into the ocean while saying things like "Hurry, we have to get this water back to the ocean!"

And they insist that the waves stop coming.

While Ruby and Alex really do get along very well, at some point during all of the "together" time, a little playfighting has to break out.

It's all fun and games until the little man gets this look on his face.

He might be little, but he's fierce. Watch out!

And what's a trip south of the border without a trip...South of the Border. Actually, one's life is complete without a trip to South of the Border, particularly if one has a child old enough to read vulgar phrases on t-shirts (but thankfully not old enough to understand them).

The Mickey attire tips you off that this is actually from our July trip to Florida. But still, I couldn't resist. It's just too cute and I hadn't posted it yet.

So glad he didn't

I am completely disinclined to share potty or diaper stories, though I know this is standard parent-of-toddler practice. In fact, I might have even have been quoted in the past as saying something after reading a similar story on a blog along the lines of "Don't they know that child will grow up some day and be haunted by this? It's out there for the whole world to read!" Well, I eat my words. Alex will now be embarrassed for posterity. I am a bad mom. Or not. But even if I'm a good mom, I'll have the bad mom guilt that comes with motherhood, so I guess it doesn't matter.

I think it's too late for me to be typing. But I digress.

Alex is potty training. Yes, I know he is three and two months. But he has shown no interest and put up lots of resistance to all previous efforts. He has said, repeatedly, "I want to wear diapers. I want to be the baby. I am not a big boy. I am just a baby." So I tried reminding him of all sorts of things babies can't do like play on the playground or eat chocolate. When that didn't work, I promised a trip to Disney World.

That is like the biggest bribe ever. What in the world was I thinking? What do we have left in reserve for next time?

But the reality is that I had already paid for the Disney World vacation when I pulled it out as an incentive. So it's less incentive for him and more deadline for me. Because there's no way I'm pulling out such a big gun and then letting him get the prize without producing the results. Also, it's not so effective as a bribe because he's never been there, so he doesn't realize how good it is. Probably just offering him a marshmallow or a sticker after he pees is just as good.

So, on to the story.

We are finally making progress. Alex went all day in big boy pants! Woo hoo! The trick is that he insists on standing up at the potty, though many little boys are trained sitting down and then graduate to standing up. No problem. He's three already, he might as well just graduate. The only problem is, I discovered tonight that if you don't catch him in time, he insists on standing up all of the time he goes to the bathroom. "Because boys and daddys and papas stand up to use the potty."

So, I'm walking down the hall and catch a whiff of something that I was about to blame on the cats, since their litter box is in the hall bathroom. I peek in thinking I'm going to need to clean the litter box and instead find Alex leaning on the potty, propped up on his elbow, with his legs crossed, trying to look casual, but obviously hiding something behind his back. "Ew!" I shout, before I can stop myself.

"But I was trying to hide it from people," Alex said.

"Alex, did you stand up when you pooped?" I ask.

"Boys and daddys and papas stand up when they use the potty," he said, sheepishly.

"Only when you peepee, buddy."

"I thought that I would hide it from people," he said. "I thought I would pick it up with my hands and put it behind the potty so nobody would see it."

"Alex, did you touch the poop?"

"No. Because it is yucky to touch poop. And you shouldn't eat poop either. I thought that I would pick it up, but then when I was thinking I would pick it up I thought that I shouldn't, so I thought that instead I would just pretend to pick it up. So I pretend put it over there, but I'm really just standing here to hide it."

So glad it was just for pretend. Jon intervened with a little tutorial on when to stand and when to sit. I think we've got it straight now. We quizzed him a couple of times just to make sure.